Maui Water Struggles > Comments > "Review of Maui Water Struggles"
Piece Comment
Commenter Profile
- Jonathan Groubert
- Username: jgroubert
- Location: Amsterdam, Netherlands
- Joined PRX: Sep 06, 2003
Piece Information
- "Maui Water Struggles"
- Summary: Maui residents struggle to gain control of their water resources.
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Review of Maui Water Struggles
Jonathan Groubert
Posted on November 27, 2006 at 03:22 AM
Just prior to editing and scripting a new piece, all journalists, PDs and reporters should ask themselves "Why should the listener care about this?".
With this in mind, almost any subject can be made to be interesting, no matter how esoteric or distant. And it is here that this piece fails.
All the elements of something good are here. However, the piece opens with some wooden narration, mountains of facts and figures and an interview witha laywer from a PIRG, rather than, say, the local man whose home island is slowly being sucked dry by poor water mangement.
I suspect this item was made by a well-informed, well-intentioned cub reporter who cares about the subject and tried to cover all the bases. However, the typical neophyte mistakes are made: overwriting, jamming so much information in that the narrative does not flow and becomes impossible to follow.
Reediting and some serious paring down in terms of the scripting would make this story useful to environmental programs and Marketplace's Sustainability Desk.