Playlist: Tom Pappalardo's Portfolio
Featured
TI-99/4A
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 04:06
The author discusses his old home computer and general dorkitude.
- Playing
- TI-99/4A
- From
- Tom Pappalardo
The TI-99/4A, a dot matrix printer, and a text adventure game on a cassette drive. All of this and some poorly written BASIC programming awaits you! Join author Tom Pappalardo as he waxes nostalgic for the days when he actually understood how his computer worked.
Forgetting
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 04:45
In which the author Googles “Dysnomia,” and then, later, Googles “Dysnomia.”
- Playing
- Forgetting
- From
- Tom Pappalardo
Note to self: Write a witty description for this.
Art Talk: Typography
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 03:55
In which your host takes you on a magical journey of lame graphic designer jokes.
- Playing
- Art Talk: Typography
- From
- Tom Pappalardo
Have you ever wondered why people like me cringe when you show off your lousy inkjet-printed party invitation? The answer is TYPOGRAPHY! Learn to Kern! Become the Sherriff of Serifs! Behold the... uh, phallics of Italics. Maybe? Errr... ANYWAY, give it a listen.
Houses & Stuff
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 02:33
A piece about my house and my stuff. I think the title pretty much describes it. I peer suspiciously through the curtains and auto-dial the police.
- Playing
- Houses & Stuff
- From
- Tom Pappalardo
Houses, Insecurity, Materialism. This piece was adapted from a comic strip I made.
Dear Shrieking Partisans
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 02:00
I speak out against partisan arguments and call for a re-dedication to open-mindedness - with a wacky twist-ending!
- Playing
- Dear Shrieking Partisans
- From
- Tom Pappalardo
In which the author seeks common ground with his fellow man.
THE FIGHTIN’ SEEBEES!
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 05:01
A recollection of a temp job at a nuclear submarine base, in which the author stacks boxes, doesn’t go anywhere near a submarine, and mispronounces “nuclear” in an unrepentant manner.
- Playing
- THE FIGHTIN’ SEEBEES!
- From
- Tom Pappalardo
In which the author stacks boxes, doesn’t go anywhere near a submarine, and mispronounces “nuclear” in an unrepentant manner.
Glass and Metal
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 03:35
A fiction piece about being stuck in traffic in Boston, recorded in a read-along record style for no apparent reason.
- Playing
- Glass and Metal
- From
- Tom Pappalardo
In which the author recycles a crappy thing he wrote almost twenty years ago. Sit on your bedroom floor indian-style, place the needle on the outer edge of Side A, and turn to page one.
My Side of the Story: The YMCA
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 02:59
I am offended by the foul odor which emanates from this stinking sweat-factory!
- Playing
- My Side of the Story: The YMCA
- From
- Tom Pappalardo
This is a parody of a local story, which means that no one outside of western Massachusetts will understand it, and probably only 20% of people in western Massachusetts will understand it, and probably only 3% of them will hear this segment, and only 1% of them will think it’s funny. Oh, well. Trust me, it’s SCATHING.
I Think You Should Shut Up
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 01:49
A grumpy & annoyed person person speaks into a microphone for one minute and fifty seconds.
- Playing
- I Think You Should Shut Up
- From
- Tom Pappalardo
In which the author accidentally leaves the microphone on while looking in the mirror.
Not Looking Down The Barrel Of A Gun
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 04:11
The tale of a Dunkin Donuts, an armed robbery, and a high school girl I wanted to throw sugar packets at. The author almost loses his jelly.
- Playing
- Not Looking Down The Barrel Of A Gun
- From
- Tom Pappalardo
dunkin donuts, a robbery, a gun, a loud teenager.
Grumpy Crankypants And His Magic Soapbox
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 02:00
An angry man expresses his feelings concerning unwanted ad circulars left in his driveway.
- Playing
- Grumpy Crankypants And His Magic Soapbox
- From
- Tom Pappalardo
An angry man expresses his feelings concerning unwanted ad circulars left in his driveway.
My Funeral, Your Trial
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 03:19
Unreasonable demands from BEYOND THE GRAVE!
- Playing
- My Funeral, Your Trial
- From
- Tom Pappalardo
The author considers his death.
Board
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 02:14
The author considers a childhood toy.
- Playing
- Board
- From
- Tom Pappalardo
The author considers a childhood toy.
Cultural Vampirism, aka Hipsters Are Vampires
From Tom Pappalardo | Part of the The Optimist series | 01:50
The nebulously-named Hipster is defined and ridiculed.
The nebulously-named Hipster is defined and ridiculed.